“I’m always the kid, watching everyone inside having a good time with my nose against the window.” “Even though I’m included, I never truly feel like I belong.”

The voices of those who have experienced the intense loneliness and isolation they felt—and still feel—as outsiders are heard in these stories of exclusion, which retain the melancholy of the initial encounter. Several fundamental situations can lead someone to feel like an outsider. However, childhood experiences of not belonging have the strongest and most enduring impacts.

A common issue in many psychological writings is the psychological significance of belonging. According to evolutionary theory, group membership is crucial for survival. There is considerable evidence of the tribe’s power, and its influence on tribal life continues to be felt in many regions of the world.

The time has come to start learning how to overcome the lingering effects of your childhood and how it has affected your sense of yourself.

Take some time to reflect on your family’s problems and how they may have impacted you. Acknowledge that you may have been unable to comprehend the adults in your life as a youngster and may have thought egocentrically like children do, presuming that the uncertainty and/or negativity in the interactions were caused by a failure on your part rather than theirs. Do you feel that not being able to connect with a critical attachment figure caused you to sustain a severe wound?

Do you think that your inability to learn to be by yourself may have led to you being caught as an outsider? Consider this concept in light of your own life. Developing uplifting, encouraging “others” who can give you a sense of “presence” is also crucial. A trustworthy relationship with a therapist can be a great help in this area.

Consider what you truly enjoy doing, your interests, your passions, and the types of individuals who are a “goodness-of-fit” for you. After that, give yourself the freedom to find the community that truly makes you feel like you belong.